HYPOCRITES,Forever they are with us,Masters of deceit.


The Televangelists’ Hall of Shame!  
“Jesus wept.”

                — John 11:35


 

  Next to disco, the game show, and the Energizer bunny, the most unforgivable American contribution to world culture has been the common televangelist (cockroachus Evangelicus everbrokus). While this slippery creature’s normal habitat includes Mercedes Benzes, exclusive vacation spots, and Republican Party fundraisers, he can at times be found in gay bathhouses, massage parlors, and cruising through your local red-light district. This page honors those who have taken so much to contribute to the immaculate reputation of this ignoblest of species.
  Gentlemen (and ladies), we salute you!!!

 

NOTE: This page is still under development, and deserving inductees will be added as time and space permits. If you would like to nominate an evangelist for induction, please see our induction criteria listed below.

Meet Our Newest Urban Legend!

Brother Terry    “Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker, step aside!” That was how TV legend David Frost introduced TERRY SMITH on Inside Edition. The pastor of Canyon Creek Baptist Church in Richardson, Texas, Dr. Smith refuses to ask local businesses for a pastor’s discount … as he appears to prefer the five-fingered kind. The good reverend was actually convicted of shoplifting condoms from a local grocery store — and he certainly had a need for them. According to a 1989 ruling by Texas District Court judge Catherine Crier, he was having extramarital affairs with church members who came to him for marriage counseling. It is therefore no surprise that Smith has been a long-time director of BOB LARSON’S ministry.

NOTE: For a local pastor to earn “urban legend” status, he has to do something pretty spectacular. If you know of a local pastor who deserves recognition on this page and can document your charges, contact me at Ranger57@concentric.net. If the scandal in question hasn’t gone public yet, also contact Trinity Foundation at tfi@flash.net; they are the experts in bringing these scandals to the attention of the major networks.

 

The Lifetime Achievement Awards

   We must start by paying homage to the living legends: three men who have done more to demolish the reputation of the modern American evangelist than Madalyn Murray-O’Hair could have done in her wildest dreams: Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, and Oral Roberts.

 

 Jim Bakker

Room 538 of the Sheraton Sand Key Resort in Clearwater, Florida will go down in history — not for the view or ambience but rather, for the historic union which took place there. It is there that, in December of 1980, an attractive twenty-something church secretary named Jessica Hahn got to know Jim Bakker and John Wesley Fletcher — in a Biblical sense. And that close encounter of the threesome kind defined American televangelism. The ambitious, high-living, wild-spending Bakker has truly became a American icon.

Oral Roberts

Oral Roberts’ claim to fame came from what he didn’t do, as opposed to what he did. He showed the heathen what Christian salvation really meant when he locked himself in a tower and tearfully proclaimed that, if his ministry didn’t get $8 million in donations by a specific date, God would “call him home.” As you know, Oral got his money, and when you think about it, that was a damn shame. If God had called him home in dramatic fashion, Oral would have saved more souls in that one day than Billy Graham, Campus Crusade, and the entire Catholic church have saved in the last thirteen generations.

 Jimmy Swaggart

When you look at it objectively, Jimmy Swaggart’s most famous transgression doesn’t quite measure up to those of many of his counterparts. But what it lacked in substance, it more than made up for in style. Swaggart was immortalized by his tearful televised confession … but some time later, he was stopped while driving in his rented Jaguar with yet another “lady of the evening.” At last report, Bro. Jimmy is enjoying God’s anointing on his life, and a veritable blizzard of blessings (including a fleet of Mercedes Benzes) — irrefutable evidence that God endorses legalized prostitution.

The Grizzled Veterans

Here, we pay respects to those aging stars of televangelism who might not have achieved legendary status, but have made significant and lasting contributions to their profession’s lawyer-like reputation.

Pat Robertson

  Marion G. “Pat” Robertson is the undisputed Michael Jordan of televangelism. Speaking of lawyers, Pat is a graduate of Yale Law School, and most of the time, he plays the part — but he also seems to suffer from an Evangelical version of brucellosis (foot-in-mouth disease). When the game is on the line, and you need to count on someone to say or do something incredibly stupid, there’s no one you’d rather pass the ball to than good old Pat.
 Pat’s accomplishments — including use of his Operation Blessing hospital ship to visit his diamond mines in Zaire, and his sale of The Family Channel to that godly Rupert Murdoch — and statements (e.g., calling Muslims “insane”) have already earned him borderline legend status, and his recent Orlando-area “weather forecast” will do nothing to jeapordize it. But unless he gets into the White House (or, gets caught in bed with co-hosts Ben Kinchlow and Terry Meeuwsen), Jim Bakker has nothing to fear.

Bob Larson

  Denver-based radio shock jock Bob Larson is the Dennis Rodman of televangelism. He doesn’t get the stats or recognition he deserves, but he has more than made up for it in balding hypocrisy. Never fearing to push the envelope, Larson bears the distinction of being the only ordained minister ever bleeped on The Phil Donahue Show for the use of “colorful metaphors.”
  Larson’s specialty is in making excuses, for which he has shown a truly Rodman-esque flair. When he was caught in his money, ghost-writing and sex scandal, he insisted that he was the victim of the same grand Satanic conspiracy that brought down Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, and Robert Tilton. He later opened new vistas in the excuse field, claiming that demons have physically impersonated him. This means that if you see Bob walking out of a gay bathhouse or arm-in-arm with a boy toy named Bruce, or taking yet another secretary on an unchaparoned junket to the Disney Yacht Club Hotel, it was really his demonic double — the REAL Bob was at home listening to Vivaldi, reading Scripture, and having milk and cookies.
  When Larson fell from grace, he started having visions — like the one where God told him to raise $1,890,000 to “revive Christian radio.” And in the most remarkable leap of faith ever taken by an American televangelist, he had his chief financial officer check God’s math!  Beggin’Bob has blamed everyone in sight for his downfall, but his primary target has been the Christian media: in a 1995 appearance in Peoria, he proclaimed that “Satanists are more to be trusted than Christians in the media.” And ever since he has been relegated to heading up the Trinity Broadcasting Network’s prime time lineup in the Kingdom of Tonga, he has had to service the $1,000,000 mortgage on his vacation mansion in Vail as a more-or-less full-time exorcist.

  Truth be known, we’re starting to worry about Bob. The latest (and as yet unconfirmed!) report we have out of Dallas is that his dementia has become so severe that he actually suffered a sudden bout of honesty. One attendee of his ‘1998 Ectoplasm Tour’ reported that Larson held up his wallet and proclaimed, “This is the most sacred aspect of this ministry!”

Robert Tilton

  “Komo badde soto ha!” If Bob Larson is televangelism’s Dennis Rodman, then Robert Tilton is its Magic Johnson. Before his unfortunate 1991 dumpster-diving accident involving ABC’s Diane Sawyer, the tongues-wagging Tilton was THE definition of “over the top.” According to Trinity Foundation’s Rev. Ole Anthony, Tilton had ordered prayer requests sent to him thrown in the trash — before they were even read. And he ought to know: he dug some of them from the dumpster of Tilton’s Tulsa bank.
  Tilton distinguished himself with his innovative response, which probably had the virtue of never having been tried. Adamantly denying PrimeTime Live‘s accusations, he even went so far as to claim that the prayer requests were planted in the dumpster, and that he had prayed over them so hard that the ink on the requests had invaded his bloodstream, causing several small strokes. The treatment: plastic surgery to fix the bags under his eyes.

   Billy James Hargis

  “One sacred chicken to go….” He’s still going … but remarkably, is all but forgotten. The Wilt Chamberlain of televangelism, in the Seventies Hargis stood head and shoulders above the crowd. This fire-breathing, commie-baiting one-time soda-jerk pioneered direct-mail begging, the use of books as premiums, the “send money now or we’ll be forced to go off the air” fundraising pitch, and other staples of American televangelism.
  Hargis’ rather spectacular downfall came in 1974, when two of his Summit Bible College students got married. On their wedding night, they confessed to each other that they were no longer virgins … and that Rev. Billy James Hargis was the one that deflowered them. Hargis stepped down from the pulpit, and this whole sordid affair was set to be swept under the rug in customary Christian fashion … were it not for the fact that Hargis tried to mount a comeback, and one of his male victims took his story to Time magazine.  [Hargis died in February, 2004, at the age of 79.]

Dishonorable Mention

  This section honors those televangelists and supporters who have done enough to deserve recognition, but whose transgressions have insufficient magnitude, pervasiveness, and/or style to merit more than associate membership in the Hall.

W.V. Grant

  Given how easy it is to loot a Christian ministry, Grant is probably more deserving of an award for stupidity than he is full membership in the Hall. Granted, he lives in a multi-million dollar mansion, and he and his third wife drive his-and-hers Ferraris, but that pretty much seems to be par for the course for televangelists. His recent stay in “Club Fed” for income tax evasion is thus unremarkable, but his photogenic pose and haunting resemblance to Marv (“wearing a garter and panties, exposed and aroused”) Albert are worthy of mention in and of themselves.  (Latest expose: Fox 5 in Atlanta.)

 Mike Warnke

  Claiming to be the former high priest of a 1500-person Satanic coven, Warnke did more to shape the Christian view of Satanism than any Christian leader of his generation. But his multi-million dollar per year gravy train came to a screeching halt when Jon Trott and Mike Hertenstein of Cornerstone magazine actually checked out his claims, finding them to be totally fraudulent. Tales of unbiblical divorces, extramarital affairs, and enormous compensation packages didn’t help matters, but friends like Bob Larson came quickly to his defense. (FWIW, Mike is still married to fourth(?) wife Susan.)
  Warnke bears the surprising distinction of being the last Evangelical leader (1992) to fail to survive a scandal of this magnitude. According to the folks at Trinity Foundation, Robert Tilton was still milking his mailing list, Larry Lea moved on to start a church in San Diego, and W.V. Grant was somehow able to run his ministry while in the slammer. Tilton has returned to cable television, and Bob Larson even got promoted to a prime-time slot on TBN (he was later demoted, evidently for poor ratings). Only the legal profession has done less to police the rogues in its card-carrying ranks.

Paul Crouch

  Aside from some allegedly garden-variety fraud in an application for an FCC license, Crouch has for the most part kept his nose relatively clean. But he deserves special recognition for his tireless work in preserving the species, providing a profitable habitat not only for senior citizens like Bob Larson and John Avanzini, but up-and-comers like Casey Treat and Creflo Dollar. Without great men like Paul and his Trinity Broadcasting Network, this page might not have been possible.
   UPDATE: The word on the street had always been that Paul was “as queer as a three-dollar bill,” and our good friends at the Trinity Foundation finally caught him dead to rights.  The Los Angeles Times reported in September of 2004 that Paul had had a homosexual encounter with one Enoch Lonnie Ford, entering into a Bob Larsoneque “confidentiality agreement,” under which Ford agreed not to discuss whether he had sex with Crouch.

Other Urban Legends

  This section honors those who don’t meet the criteria for induction, but have otherwise distinguished themselves in the religion business through particularly notorious acts. But we’ll have to draw the line at people like Herff Applewhite and David Koresh, or this page could go on forever.

  • Radio evangelist TROY SNOWDON never really made it to the big time, but his fall earned more than its share of style points. Snowdon raised money by claiming that he ran a chicken farm; people would actually call in to ‘sponsor’ chickens. But the chickens didn’t exist, and the Feds just didn’t have a good sense of humor. They prosecuted Brother Snowdon for mail fraud, wire fraud, and violations of the Mann Act (for those of you who lead sheltered lives, that’s transporting women across state lines for purposes of prostitution). 
  • The leader of the National Baptist Convension USA, HENRY LYONS, came to national prominence because his wife allegedly torched the $700,000 waterfront home he bought with “business partner” (and purported mistress) Bernice Edwards. And I suppose it should really come as no surprise that he is still the leader of the American Baptist Convention. Since the story broke, Lyons has been charged with embezzlement, and his lawyer expects a federal indictment on money laundering and tax fraud charges to be handed down soon. Allegations of other sexual improprieties have surfaced; this story is far from over, and the St. Petersburg Times will be giving us a front-row seat. 
  • GODHATESFAGS.COM! Speaking of wacko Baptists, FRED PHELPS is back in the news, displaying his unique brand of “Christian compassion” in picketing the funeral of gay murder victim Matthew Shepard. Perhaps it is because I don’t have a Th.D., but it seems to me that while God seems to hate fags, he sure loves ‘dem adulterous radio preachers….
       Like most of his counterparts on this page, the good Rev has a colorful past. Reporter Jon Bell uncovered more than his share of family secrets in his book-length expose, “Addicted to Hate,” but the local fish-wrap was evidently too terrified of Phelps to print it. Truly a gem of a human being … is anyone really surprised that Phelps used to be A LAWYER?  [“Addicted to Hate” can also be found here.] 
  • “She has never had a facelift.” After having had her husband deny the obvious — not just to anyone, but to yours trulyJAN CROUCH finally admitted in the June, 1998 edition of Charisma magazine to having had cosmetic surgery. Uh, trust me, Jan, it was that obvious…. 
  • Now that football season is in full swing, we can’t overlook the Minister of Defense: REGGIE WHITE. Proving that he had taken one too many head-slaps during his illustrious career, Reggie distinguished himself by giving a speech in front of the Wisconsin state legislature that would have made David Duke cry. There’s a divine reason why you have thirty Spics in a house, and the Japs can turn a television set into a watch. CBS was so embarrassed by his speech that they rescinded an offer to make him a television commentator, and extreme right-wing commentators like Janet Parshall were so enamored by his fag-bashing that they defended him. But look at the bright side: Packers fans are delighted.  [Tragically, White passed away in late 2004, at the all-too-young age of 43.] 
  • JUST BLOW ME!!! BENNY HINN attained notoriety by actually knocking people over with his breath…. His theology (including his infamous ‘nine-person Trinity’ statement, and the claim that Adam could fly) is bizarre enough to warrant inclusion in the Rogues’ Gallery, but the swarthy-haired one has already more than earned his keep. Big Benny survived a recent two-part CNN/Time expose, where his flight on the Concorde, his chartering of a Gulfstream jet to travel to one of his domestic crusades, and his high six-figure compensation package raised barely more than a yawn in Evangelical circles.  Rick Ross has been keeping tabs on The Swarthy One
  • To this point, current Bible Answerman HANK HANEGRAAFF hasn’t faced much more than a plagiarism scandal … and has only been caught lying about the price of his $731,000 hovel. The once-dignified Hanegraaff has recently taken to Bob Larson-esque high-pressure fundraising tactics, including direct calls to supporters to shake the money tree. But if my sources are correct, more excrement is about to hit the propeller, and Hank has a chance to become televangelism’s 1998 poster boy. He doesn’t have the financial resources to survive a serious scandal, and has cultivated some powerful enemies. 
  • No, we haven’t forgotten PETER POPOFF, who became famous for discovering that that God’s frequency is 39.17 Mhz.  He’s STILL  selling “Miracle Spring Water!” So there!

    The Rogues’ Gallery

  This section honors those who don’t meet the criteria for induction, and haven’t been caught in compromising positions, but have made lasting contributions to the weird world of televangelism in less tangible ways.

Gene Scott

  “You will add Gene Scott to the page, AND YOU WILL DO IT NOW!” Occasionally mistaken for Beggin’Bob Larson on account of his incessant high-pressure fundraising appeals, the irascible, disheveled-looking, cigar-chompin’ “Doc” is televangelism’s best entertainment value. Whether he is cavorting on-screen with curvaceous cuties, showing off his(?) Arabian horses during breaks, or just letting loose one of his trademark rants, “Doc” is clearly the people’s choice.  For all you fans of his delightful over-the-top rants, “Doc” is still in the house!

 Ernest Angley

  Picture Liberace as an evangelist. It’s a frightening mental image … and a good first approximation as to what Ernest Angley looks like. The barrel-chested, pastel-suited Angley prances around the stage, speaking with a noticeable lisp, while repeating simple phrases with the intensity of a stage hypnotist. In contrast to Bob Larson, who prefers drawn-out Technicolor exorcisms, Angley can cast out two score of demons with a touch of his hand. Just put your hand on the computer screen, and you will be HHHEEEAAALLLLLEEDD! … or at least, thoroughly entertained.
  Angley goes especially well with cheap distilled spirits; a Guinness Stout may be too heavy. Johnny Profaci had put together a thhhpecccial Angley page, but it has been taken down, and the address now contains a Wonder Woman fan site. And again, thanks to Craig Barnhart for the tape. I might even get a picture up one of these days.

Criteria for Induction:

  To earn induction into the Hall, a candidate must: (1) achieve national prominence (2) either as a radio or television evangelist, or in a directly related field, and (3) engage in a pattern of immoral conduct (4) which tends to bring Christendom into disrepute. What’s more, he or she has to do it with style.

  The Hall is NOT about theology. It doesn’t matter whether you’re pre-trib, post-trib, or simply read The Daily Planet; all that matters here is that you present yourself to the world as a Christian, and are generally regarded as a Christian. (Since Mormons aren’t into televangelism, we don’t have to delve into that potentially thorny question.) Nor is it about gross incompetence or stupidity, as incompetence alone doesn’t translate into the level of mental culpability necessary to earn induction.
  Avarice or tackiness alone won’t cut it, either; if that were a consideration, we’d have to call it the Paul and Jan, honoring today’s undisputed living legends. The antics of the “blab it and grab it” crowd may be a just cause for scorn, but in the wacky world of religion, there is almost nothing that will stop separating fools from their wallets. When Jesus called his followers “sheep,” it was not a compliment.
  Finally, the award will not awarded posthumously. It would defeat the purpose of the award — to rebuke and reprove.

 My Christian people:   The above rogues  gallery is merely the tip of the sno-cone of all those who would trick and deceive you.

  

Yet there are millions of you who continually support these vultures and finance their lifestyle of luxury living.

While you are doing this they are laughing at you and at  your abject stupidity .  I often wonder how incredibly naive and credulous the Christian Faith Community  in America is .

If you do not as yet recognize the Christian Broadcaster you are now supporting  among those already listed ,I assure you in time he or she will appear among  the roll of the  very  scum of humanity pictured here.

  

I assure you that soon you will  see the names and faces of many in the pseudo-christian radio ministry .

 Appearing will be such gifted swindlers as Mr. Vic Eliason ,And Ingrid Schlueter  ,his daughter ,who together are responsible for one of the most deceptive hour-long radio call-in talk shows  in the business ;THE CROSS-TALK AMERICA PROGRAM , that comes out of Milwaukee Ws.

Soon you will come to view the faces of such professional con-artists that routinely soak their radio audiences out of millions of dollars every time they conduct one of their fraudulent RADIO SHARE-A-THONS.

One of the best in this criminal activity is the well accomplished ,on the air swindle,

 entitled : REJOICE RADIO.   These jokers operate safely and  out of the spotlight from the studios of another  clever and crafty operation ,known as PENSACOLA CHRISTIAN COLLEGE ;located ,you guessed right ,right there in the most hedonistic ,sex drenched area of the country: PENSACOLA BEACH ,Florida.

This is where  these frauds and swindlers want you to mail your donation checks!

Keep an eye out for the masterminds and prime movers in this clever and  deceitful scam operation.

Look for the face of Caleb keener and jimmy The  MINT , along with the ever witty : CRAIG MATTSON to soon adorn the “whose who”  of pseudo-christian con artists in America.

Craig is worthy of mention since he basically lends an air of witticisms and enlightenment, to what would otherwise be another country gospel radio program for hicks.

This joker serves the function of  THE  ATTRACTIVE WINDOW WHORE ,PERCHED ON THE LEDGE OF AN AMSTERDAM BROTHEL ;  sitting there by design to bring the paying suckers inside.

This is how  Craig earns his annual bonus  ,by attracting a more respectable group of stupid.

Look for his photo to appear alongside MRS INGRID SCHLUETER ; 

JIM SCHNEIDER ,the budding crook of the Crosstalk America claptrap organization and all their assorted stooges and fellow charlatans you hear on their hate-filled  hour-long program .

  

Let’s not forget BRANNON HOWSE ,who    proves that even a hick can make a pretty good living in the pseudo-christian religion business . This swindler   has a pretty good scam . This  half-educated jerk   makes a good living peddling his con and well thought scam to his fellow hicks and self-absorbed morons.

  

Brannon runs a good  MULTI-LEVEL pyramid  scheme that he  pitches  everyday on the  crosstalk outlet of deception. It’s called his BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW WEEKEND RALLY.

This is always free ,he often states…. The trick the jerks who believe his scam fail to notice is the high pressure tactics he and his goons employ on all those who attend his Biblical Rallys. The pressure is to buy the printed material he pushes   off on the jerks ,dumb enough to show up at his conferences.

His photo will soon be added to the swindlers HALL OF SHAME ,be patient!

  This is what it has come down to my Dear Comrades in the Faith. These swindlers,liars and frauds are our misfortune.

The only ones who benefit by all this nonsense is the gang of international maggots  who are promoting these Judases within the Church .

Have you ever noticed how none of these swindlers   has anything negative to say about the Jewish plague that is threatening to destroy all that remains in this country ,that is decent ,sacred , and of TRUE RELIGION?

This above all else is a clear indication that while  they are free to cheat you out of your money ,they receive the Judas wage from  those  they truly work for: The Enemy of all Honest Humanity , The American Front for  Jewish predators.

Stay clear of them and remember that, UNITED WE WILL SURELY DEFEAT THE ENEMY WHOSE POWER IS THE MORTAL FOE OF ANY TRUE CHRISTIANITY!

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