JUST IN: Rabbi Noson Shmuel Leiter, the Spokesman for the Garden State Parents for Moral Values sent us the following after speaking with a senior aide in Trenton: “The schedule for the Monday, January 4th, Assembly Judiciary Committee Meeting, has just been released and has not had any mention of the Marriage Redefinition vote. Although this may be a good sign, we certainly cannot be complacent, because they can schedule a vote on it at the very last minute. Additionally, the entire Assembly could vote on the bill without any Committee vote. We encourage a presence in Trenton on Monday morning, as early as possible. For details on the issue, call 212-461-8690 or torahjewsfordecency@gmail.com.”
”Brother Vic , it is so good to see you again”
“Rabbi, where did you come from,you startled me?”
” I came from down below ,you know that brother Vic. “
” Well yes, I know that , I just meant right this minute . Did you just fly in to Milwaukee from Brooklyn . How long have you been here Rabbi?”
“Look Vic , I have to tell you straight up, the big guy downstairs asked me to talk to you”
“No way , did I do something wrong Rabbi?”
“Vic ,you’ve done just great , you and all your other gentile schmucks have been performing just as we expected”
“So what’s the deal Rabbi?” What’s the big guy want now?”
“We’re just not getting the high quality personnel we need right now ,and it’s starting to show up at census time .All that’s coming in are the same old stupid ,moronic sounding Christian Gentile imbeciles ,you know ,like the ones that listen to your program,What’s the name of it ?”
“It’s called CROSSTALK ,Rabbi , you would think by now you would know the name of the show , considering the number of times I’ve had you on to help me brainwash all the doofuses that tune in to listen everyday”
” Relax Vic . We all know what a hardworking stooge you are ,but you’re well paid for your efforts ,am I telling the truth or not?” Look Vic ,you couldn’t make a dime if your life depended on it ,not in Milwaukee, and certainly not in Brooklyn ,I can assure you.” So you and that lame brain jackass Jim, better straighten up and fly right ,cause without me and all the Jews ,you and your entire useless staff would be pounding the streets looking for something to do”
“I’m not complaining Rabbi Noson , it’s just a little unnerving seeing you here so unexpectedly, and after telling me about meeting with the big guy down below.” So ,tell me ,what do I need to do ?”
” Vic ,Vic baby ,now that’s what I like to hear coming out of your fat Swedish face.” … Now here’s the deal Vic, the big man wants a higher calibre of Christian to come down below ,and by the way Vic ,big man has taken a special liking to you and your entire family . He told me to extend his deepest sympathies for all you’ve suffered these many years . What with illnesses and a sick grandchild and now all the affliction you are dealing with thanks to your ungrateful daughter Ingrid and your boozing son-in-law. ” Believe me ,brother Vic ,the man below has taken notice and wants to wish you a big mazol tov for the rest of the year”
“Well, I really appreciate it Rabbi, and tell the old serpent I wish him all the good fortune in the world.”
Vic , believe me , he understands your situation, and is looking forward to meeting you personally.”
“Well ,wait a minute ,I’m not exactly ready to meet him ,if you know what I mean ,Rabbi.”
“Vic, you worry too much, look the day will come ,but listen it won’t be that bad. ,,,just so you know , he has your best interests at heart, he has a special place waiting just for you ,brother Vic. ” ..And guess what, it’s in the shady part of the LAKE.”
“Now ,let’s get back to business, look Vic ,let me be upfront, I’m on a recruiting mission ,we need a higher quality to start filling up the empty spaces in the pit and at our lakeside condominiums. And all those urban hicks and idiotic hayseeds you’re sending us are getting on everyone’s nerves ,you know what I mean, You know what I mean?”
‘Yeah, I know what you mean Rabbi, so spell it out ,what must I do to be back in the good graces of Mr. Nick?”
” So, this is the deal Vic , stop having your idiot listeners and callers phoning JCP PENNY or contacting any highschool administration ,or getting all up in arms about the degeneracy in the schools or in government,but instead, have the brain-dead listeners call their congressmen and demand that more military and financial assistance be awarded to Israel . Got it?”
” I hear you loud and clear Rabbi Noson” ..one minute Rabbi , I’m getting an E-Mail from my co-host and faithful lap-dog Jim ,he wants to know about his end of year bonus ,you promised him ,rabbi .” He mentioned it last month when I had you on the air , promoting the mass genocide of Palestinians.”
” Why that son of a bitch isn’t worth one shekel and tell that gentile bastard he better do a better job promoting Jewish life in America or he can go find a job collecting cans.”
” Well Rabbi, I’ll wait for the right time before I let him know how you feel”.
” Have it your way, brother Vic.” “But Vic listen , we need a really good stooge , we need someone who is really credible ,someone who talks good ,is articulate and clean and dresses well” ..Who do you recommend?”
“Gee, Rabbi ,I dunno,”
“Isn’t there anyone that you can think of?”
“HMMM.let’s see , a really glib raconteur maybe , someone who sounds well-educated , I got one for you Rabbi, “
” O.K. who is it Vic , It’s not that charismatic cross dressing homosexual that calls you now and then from Birmingham England, is it Vic?”
“No, Robert from Birmingham England is about as useless as teats on a boar hog, he can’t get his mind off of Caleb Keener ;he plans to fly to Pensacola for a visit and as far as we know here at Vcy America ,it looks like Caleb is just as anxious to meet Robert as Robert is to meet Caleb” The bastard likes those cowboy types ,you know what I mean Rabbi?”
” And degenerates are not what we have in mind. Isn’t there someone else that would make a good stooge ,a willing accomplice , eager to help us enlist other like-minded morons , so we can get total compliance with the craven and fearful members of congress and thereby gain for Israel all the land in the middle east it is entitled to?”
“Hmmmm,Well ,we do have Sue from Hermiston and Harry the homo and who else ?”
” Look ,Vic , All the Jews know who these morons really are and believe me we don’t need them, These imbeciles will eventually wind up at the Lake in the low-budget area and no one will even know they’re there.”
“We’re looking for clean articulate imbeciles ,someone like you Vic”
“Hey, Rabbi, I got just the schmuck,his name is BRAD and he’s from West Allis ,Ws.”
“Hey,Vic, You know what, All the other Brooklyn Rabbis know about Brad from West Allis Ws. and they hate the bastard’s guts”
“I can’t Believe it ,what the hell did he do?”
“Can you believe what this dumb ass urban hick did last year during Yom Kipur services at Temple Beth El Midwood Branch of demonology?”
” I can’t wait for you to tell me Rabbi Noson.”
“The Dumb piece of excrement came into the Synagogue eating a ham sandwich and handing out New Testament tracts.”
“Wow ,what a jerk that joker is” Well, scratch that jackass of my list.”
“O.K. ,who else do you recommend ,Vic?”
“Tell me again Rabbi, what is it you would like to do?”
” Vic , we need young gentile idiots with heads filled with mush, we need access to the youth of America.”
“Well ,I just had a lightbulb go on when you said ,young heads filled with mush.”
” I don’t know if you are aware of this ,but we get free air time from the hayseeds working things back east at a clever scam operation called :Rejoice Radio.” .. They broadcast out of Pensacola.”
” Of course we’ve heard of them.” Who do you think provides them with free advice on how to swindle the jerks who listen to all that country gospel stuff .? We do.!?
“Do you really think they pull off their Share a Thons and prayer warrior nonsense on their own.? Who do you think handles all that, Tonita , the one ton blimp , or that effete sounding arseloch ,Craig Mattson.”
“Rabbi, Craig Mattson ,he’s the one I had in mind . The perfect stooge ,best able to deliver the Christian youth ,right into your Jewish hands.”
” Here’s a pic of Craig hard at work ,molding the minds of America’s Christian youth.” This character has access to thousands of young ,easily impressionable kids while teaching at Pensacola Christian College.”
“I will tell you this Rabbi Noson, this guy is truly a very clever hypocrite ,just the character you’re looking for ,but he don’t come cheap.” Why the hell do you think all those dumb hayseeds are running out of money every month.” All those money-grubbing scumbags who claim they need more bucks for their end of year operating expenses. What they are really saying is that Craig has a big mortgage payment to meet and his annual fee at Pensacola’s country club and golf course is now due AND PAYABLE.”
” O.K. Vic , we can handle the freight , and I like what you said about the bum being a clever hypocrite , that’s the kind of gentile schmuck we really need to keep our operation going”
” Look, Rabbi, this bastard works for the Rejoice Radio Broadcast Network that claims to be a bona fide Christian ministry ,and at the same time ,this organization provides us with free airtime . And he knows what a bunch of hate mongering sons of bitches we are ,this guy ain’t kidding anyone. The son of a bitch is nothing but a clever hypocrite who knows when to keep his lying mouth shut and when to see or hear no evil.” Why do you think he gets the big bucks , for his daily deallybop.”?
Vic, Brother Vic, you just made my day, Old Nick will want to present you with an appreciation medal.’ for all the good things you do.” The more I hear about this scumbag the more I like him.”
“I can see why, I would love to get this joker on VCY AMERICA but I just don’t want to pay the money-grubbing son of a bitch his asking price.”
“Vic,you’re a real piece of work.” So ,he pretends to be a confirmed and committed Christian ,and all the time he’s swindling all the morons living in places like Milton , Niceville, Crestview , Mobile, and your favorite place; Navarre,Florida.” Vic, you’re gonna have to learn how to correctly pronounce Navarre , the E is silent ,can’t you get that through your fat swedish face.?” You sound like a real dope at times,in fact most of the time.”
‘I’ll try to do better Rabbi Noson,” As far as the medal from Old Nick ,could he Fed Ex it to me Rabbi.?”
“No Prob. Vic , But let me show my appreciation to you and your entire family by inviting all of you to our semi-annual Black Mass, we usually never invite gentile scum to attend but to show you how much we Jews love you ,we’ll make an exception and allow you to enter our Synagogue ,right there in Milwaukee. “
“Black Mass ,gee this ain’t no Catholic thing is it Rabbi.?” my board of directors would have a flying fit if they found out.”
“No Vic , Here’s a preview of what a BLACK MASS is ,hey it’s party time Vic, loosen up guy.”
Insulting Christians on Israeli Television: `The Crucifixion of Yeshu’
In this Israeli television skit, a scantily clothed Jewish girl explains “Jewish history,” and why Jesus (“Yeshu”) is a great danger to the Jewish people. For the sin of preaching to “innocent Jews,” a little gorilla who wants to live like the “goyim” is painfully put to death. “Yeshu [Jesus], you are a Nazi,” she says as she kills him.
“This is our way of showing how much we appreciate all the help you have given to Israel throughout the year and every chance you get on your crosstalk radio program.”
“Oh,Gee Rabbi Noson, it wasn’t much. but I sure appreciate the thought.”
” Hey brother Vic, what do you think of our billing :”Jews for Decency”, Read it for yourself on top, Now if that’s not an oxymoron then I never heard of one.” Ya have to laugh ,humor is good. right Vic.?”
‘I’ll tell Old Nick to wait on seeing you. “Vic , I would love to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for
all the wonderful work you and your great organization called VCY AMERICA have done, on behalf of the state of Israel. Please extend my love and best wishes to your
entire family and all of those who make it possible everyday to continue the great work we are committed in doing,and of course that includes your partner and co-host Jim Schneider and hopefully we can someday include CRAIG MATTSON on
our honor roll of FRIENDS OF ISRAEL. Till we someday meet in person ,please accept my undying gratitude…”…OLD NICK.